Charlie's Angels

*Sigh* Well it was going to come to this at some point. At some point I was going to have to admit that I not only own this movie but I also owned it on VHS and bought it again on DVD. I could throw out phrases like I only bought it for 2.50 with three other movies for the same price or that it has nostalgic value but screw I'll admit it I actually enjoy this movie. But before I justify myself and my potentially terrible decisions I suppose I should talk about the plot huh?

So the three angels have gotten a new assignment to rescue Eric Knox (Sam Rockwell) from his kidnappers and find out what Tim Curry wants with his technology. Along the way they run into a nasty henchman (Crispin Glover) played to perfection by George McFly, and find that this mission has more sinister intentions beneath it. Ok forget plot it's three hot girls kicking butt and acting like ditzes so why do I keep my eyes peeled to the screen?

Once again I reveal that I am a sucker for good action sequences and the fight between the creepy thin man (Glover) and the angels is Matrix worthy fun and exciting. In addition each girl gets their own mini battle against a series of henchmen or a more challenging opponent all in slow motion.

The second reason I love this movie is Crispin Glover's smoking style. I've never been one to compliment smoking in any way but Glover's style is brilliant because it combines the two known styles of smoking into one original style. Not to mention the fact that his head is apparently so aerodynamic that the smoke is split perfectly by his head in one shot. I am very curious how many shots it took to get that perfect smoke trail.

And now we come to Bill Murray. Forget Sean Penn. I like his acting but I truly depise the overzealous and overserious tool that he is. Learn to take a joke and give your Mystic River Oscar to Bill Murray for Lost in Translation. As usual Bill Murray is a notable highlight in an utterly meaningless movie as Bosley and brings his eccentric energy to every scene. In one scene he is taken captive and the camera simply follows him for about two minutes as he attempts to escape and talks to wildlife.

The third reason I love this movie is the supporting cast. Honestly the angels are the last thing I'm focusing on in this movie. Sure they're attractive and they kick butt but listening to Tim Curry talk for five minutes is insanely more entertaining than listening to Cameron Diaz for an entire movie. And no this has nothing to with his part in Rocky Horror Picture Show (which I have seen at least twice at midnight). Sam Rockwell is also a notable highlight and easily began his streak of fantastic acting with this movie that has still yet to be broken.

So that's why I bought it...... But perhaps I should explain why I have to justify this purchase. The main characters...I alluded to this earlier but the main characters might be quirky but they (and I mean this with the utmost respect) are bimbos. Cameron Diaz spends at least half a scene showing off her butt to a mailman, Drew Barymore apparently is has no scruples and will sleep with anyone and the only one with credibility Lucy Liu has an alias as a bikini waxer. My mom once grimaced when I mentioned that I wanted to see this movie and I understand why. This movie is not exactly pro-feminism. Three bimbos looking to please their men and defend their nameless male boss that they listen to and defend without question.

If we wanted to make an interesting movie the three girls would take on Charlie directly and they would show his face!!! Ok that last bit is a personal pet peeve. I've been curious about nameless faces since Inspector Gadget.

I have to admit aside from the bimbo aspect the script isn't terrible and would be good when compared to most standard Bond fare but the reason this movie is hard to watch at times is that the dialogue is insufferable. Hooray for bad sexual puns! Hooray for arbitrary relationship problems! Hooray for bimbos talking like fourteen year old girls!

This movie from the get go is in your face and does have it's humorous moments but if you like the idea of empowered women this is not your movie. If you like the idea of a younger Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu and Drew Barymore bouncing around screen and kicking some butt in their spare time then you'll get everything you want. Just please promise me you will avoid the sequel. I swear that movie is like The Ring. It kills people who take it seriously.