Mr. Mom sounds like a potential disaster for a modern audiences. Surprisingly it isn't!
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An easy joke you can make about comedies from the 80s is "watch them for the nostalgia...and get reminded of the regressive bits you forgot about." Because while plenty of great movies came out of the eighties, as they do in every decade, the eighties in particular featured a ton of casual misgony, racism, homophobia, and worse, all played for laughs. So when you've got a comedy from 1983 about a working man turned house husband after he get fired and his wife becomes the breadwinner, this sounds like a recipe for disaster. And somehow...it's not. How? Well let's dive in.
The Setup
Michael Keaton stars as Jack Butler, an automotive engineer that's just been fired. Which is not great news for a man with a wife and three kids. In an effort to ensure a stable financial future for the family, Jack's wife Caroline decides to enter the job market as well, and much to Jack's chagrin, gets a job before he does. Now Jack will have to shape up to take care of the house and his three kids while his wife is away.
I should clarify before I start that I wasn't expecting this movie to be awful or have aged as poorly as other movies. The premise itself doesn't work if there isn't a level of respect given to stay at home parents of any stripe. Put another way, if Jack knocks this out of the park right away it's not a comedy because there's not enough conflict. He needs to struggle so we can watch him have some funny failures before turning it around and dading it up.
A lot of Jack's early days are pure chaos as he tries and fails to handle things like appointments with repair people and the three kids and even falls down a depressive hole because home life doesn't excite him like work life.
So what makes this one feel more progressive? Three big things in my opinion.
#1 Caroline
Something I really like about this movie is that Jack and Caroline are on reverse, but parallel tracks. So just as Jack is becoming a stay at home dad, something he's in over his head about, Caroline is entering the business world and feels a bit overwhelmed as well.
The major difference is that Caroline is encountering misogyny, a hostile work environment and a job that seems to be more demanding in terms of time than Jack's was. But she's not an asshole about it, ever.
When her and Jack have a fight about Jack becoming a bit of a slob and the house being a mess, she's in the right. Jack does need to shape up. And she's in the perfect position to check him, because she's been dealing the monotony of being a stay at home parent for years, was clearly very good at it, and can say she takes pride in it and that Jack should too.
Same for when Jack doesn't want to go to Caroline's work function and she immediate checks him again and mentions that she went to a ton of Jack's work functions without making a fuss. We'll get more into her workplace storyline, but that's also miles ahead of its time.
Same for when Jack doesn't want to go to Caroline's work function and she immediate checks him again and mentions that she went to a ton of Jack's work functions without making a fuss. We'll get more into her workplace storyline, but that's also miles ahead of its time.
#2 Jack's Midadventures are the Butt of the Joke, Not Being A Housewife
The biggest worry I would have about a movie like this is that Jack would either a) feel completely immasculated by being a house husband or b) he does things better and like a dad.
Thankfully that's not the case here. In fact, Jack trying to do things "like a dad" or generally being clueless and slovenly, is a big part of why he's not happy as a stay-at-home parent. He grows out a beard. Wears a gross shirt. And does funny things like finish a grilled cheese with an iron. This is all played for laughs, because Jack isn't doing a good job.
The closest we get is Jack both becoming a superfan of soap operas and getting into risky situations with a single, and very horny, woman from the neighborhood. But again, the joke is that Jack denigrated the shows only to get invested in them and they even inspire his turn around.
The closest we get is Jack both becoming a superfan of soap operas and getting into risky situations with a single, and very horny, woman from the neighborhood. But again, the joke is that Jack denigrated the shows only to get invested in them and they even inspire his turn around.
The final run as the stay at home parent is played for laughs, it is set to the Rocky theme, but the emotions that he feels about it (i.e. taking pride in it, missing his wife while she's at work and feeling like Caroline is neglecting the family or at the very least isn't present) are all played entirely straight.
The comedic bents are all about exaggerating a common situation like Jack talking about his son's comfort blanket like he's on the road to becoming a junkie. Even Jack going to a male strip club highlights his aforementioned neighbors unflappable sex drive and that Jack is actually the one getting the dancers attention.
And finally we get a reason this movie feels evergreen.
#3 The Real Villain: Shitty Bosses
Both Jack and Caroline deal with shitty bosses, in ways that are both universal and specific to them as individuals.
Jack gets fired along with his colleagues to cut costs in a very shady way by his alleged ally played by Jeffrey Tambour. And as we find out towards the film's end, Tambour's Latham tries to throw Jack under the bus to take the blame for the car manufacturer's dipping production and profits. And, in a bit that's never said, but heavily implied, Jack refuses to play ball. Because...his wife has a good job, so he can freely refute all of Latham's claims and makes an impassioned argument for why he shouldn't have been fired (i.e. why did production get worse right after I left?). And it gets him his job back.
Caroline is dealing with her own workplace nightmare. The first is blatant misgony and sexism. When she first enters the big boardroom where new ideas are being discussed, Caroline is one of two women in the room, and the other woman is openly hostile and tells her to keep quiet. She also presents pretty masc. Likewise the room is filled with cigarette smoke and everyone laughs as she cuts down all of their ideas to shreds because she's "just a housewife."
It's literal desperation that puts Caroline center stage for a client pitch, which she crushes because she both has a sound marketing mind and is perhaps the only person in the room who has done their own grocery shopping in the last five years.
But that success means long grueling hours and a lot of hand-holding with this client. And completley unwanted attention from her boss.
It's very telling that as soon as Caroline's boss is on a work trip with her, and seems impressed by her competence, that he makes advances towards her. Not subtle ones either. Like shows up in her room by bribing the bus boy and has to get punched in the face by Caroline who promptly quits. Good on her. And in a very telling move, her boss comes running to bring her back (in a bit that's negotiated by a female repair specialist that Jack has befriended) because the client only wants to work with her. And as part of her negeotiated return, she gets days at home (how novel!).
Conclusion: Anti-Patriarchy, Pro-Worker
What I not so low key love about Mr. Mom is that its attitudes towards work and managing a household are pretty egalitarian. If anything is demonstrates that both Jack and Caroline have the capacity and skills to work either at a job or at home and that the feelings that arise from that are universal.
Neither world is too much for them or beneath them. Operating in both worlds may lead to some silliness or awkwardness sometimes, but it ultimately gives them stronger footing when it really matters. Jack can tell his ex-boss to fuck off because his wife is a highly competent marketing executive and he's found comfort in life away from work. And part of Caroline's efficacy in her job is her experience as a housewife. Their commitment to their family and each other gives them strength...to punch their bosses in the face and get a raise in the process.
As we see more and more advocates for "traditional" households, it's both great and wild to look back at a comedy from 1983 and see a message that isn't just progressive for it's era, but feels progressive now.
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