Based in real experience, but never dour, Am I Ok? finds the humor in a different kind of coming-of-age movie.
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One of the sucky things about being a queer person in America is that being straight is considered the norm. Which means that unless you're out early, you can spend a long part of your life trying to figure out who you're attracted to. Meanwhile everyone might wonder why you haven't met the right guy or gal yet despite being very pretty and agreeable. It's also...kinda awkward and kinda funny too...if you do it. Thankfully directors Tig Notaro and her wife Stephanie Allynne and screenwriter Lauren Pomerantz had more than enough personal experience to dwell on for this gem, Am I Ok?
The Setup
Dakota Johnson stars as Lucy, a thirty-something living in Los Angeles with her best friend Jane. But when Jane gets the promotion of a lifetime overseas, Lucy may be forced to change her life in almost every aspect imaginable.
I loved this movie. It's sweet, quick, consistently funny and the performances are great across the board. So why did I like it so much? A lot of reasons, starting with...
It Never Wallows
My biggest issue with comedies that have dramatic elements is that said dramatic elements can be real bummers and take the movie off the rails, fun wise. Every third act may be a downer in this genre, but if you hit complete bottom, it's really hard to build the audience back up.
Some comedies subvert this by making the downer just as absurd or silly as the rest of the movie. Others do it by making the down portion as quick as possible. Am I Ok? does it by keeping the jokes coming.
Fights between Lucy and Jane are tense, but they're also peppered with jokes including gags based around the location, reactions from folks nearby, or a stray comment from one of them that upends the tension in the moments. Cut to another scene where we have a brief moment of reflection and we're back to banter town or a sweeter moment to take the edge off.
A Fun Perspective
Coming out in your thirties is an awkward experience that I can only imagine. Like you're an adult and you're still trying to figure out who you're attracted to or determine why this guy you should be in love with doesn't do it for you? That's uncomfortable.
But once you've come out, how do you flirt. How do you date? And how do you protect your own feelings?
Something I love is the discrepancy in experience between Lucy and other women in her orbit, including a cute girl from her office. To Jane, for instance, kissing a girl at a lesbian bar isn't a big deal. It's for fun and doesn't mean that much to her. She's in a stable relationship. Try something. Who cares?
Whereas Lucy, isn't that confident as a gay woman and also doesn't have experience, so everything is new and scary to her. So seeing Jane behave so overly and flippantly (at least in her eyes) bugs her.
It's a nuanced take that demonstrates the difficulty of entering queer spaces at different stages of your own journey.
The Adult Coming-Of-Age Movie
Almost all coming-of-age movies occur with a teenager or college-aged person figuring stuff out and going through a list of firsts. Which is exactly what can happen when you haven't been openly gay for your first 30 some years. This is why folks often refer to how old they are in "gay years," because coming out comes with own set of "firsts" and personal revelations.
And, as an adult, I also find the notion that grown people are still trying to figure themselves out, refreshing. Lucy isn't just stuck because she's been closeted. She's also stuck in a job she doesn't like. And seemingly has a very small base of friends. And seems closed off to new things.
And, as an adult, I also find the notion that grown people are still trying to figure themselves out, refreshing. Lucy isn't just stuck because she's been closeted. She's also stuck in a job she doesn't like. And seemingly has a very small base of friends. And seems closed off to new things.
It's a very relatable pattern for any adult that's stayed in the same day to day life because it's either comfortable or at least stable. And it's also nice to see that while it can be messy, it can be positive for you and the people around you.
Like circles back like Lucy meeting up with a male friend who was interested in her to talk about coming to terms with her sexuality is not only a nice bonding moment, but probably gives this fella some peace about someone he connected with not having the same feelings.
The Verdict: Sweet, Silly Fun
Based in real experience, but never dour, Am I Ok? finds the humor in a different kind of coming-of-age movie. 8/10
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